Parenting! My favorite subject! I just absolutely love learning about how we can become better parents and the effects of certain parenting styles. The biggest thing that stuck out to me this week was about what happens when children don't have their needs met--which needs don't just stop with food and shelter. People need things like contact and a sense of belonging, along with a feeling of some type of power. When these types of needs aren't being met, kids often act out and we attribute negative motives to them, when in reality they are just seeking to satisfy needs and may not know where to find them.
My professor told us a story about this little boy who used to be in his ward that drove people crazy. He was that boy that is all over the place, going crazy, stands way too close to you, and seeks attention in obnoxious ways. My professor said that one day this boy jumped unto his head. Brother Williams freaked out and threw him on the ground. He was stunned and couldn't believe what he had done. He preceded to apologize incessantly. The kid looked up and said "It's okay, my mom told me something like this would happen eventually." My professor decided to try something. During every transition period he would seek this boy out and talk to him, he would put his arm around him and show genuine interest. Very soon after he started doing this, the boy calmed down. His contact and belonging needs were being met so he didn't need to try to seek them out in outrageous ways.
Too often we see people like this--whose needs are not being met and they're doing whatever they can to try to fill those needs--and we push them away, making their needs even less met. Instead we should help them to meet their needs and this unbalance will likely diminish.
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